Z is for Zoning In
I can’t believe it’s the last day of this series – I’m proud for finishing a writing project for once and not giving up halfway through! Thanks so much for reading, sharing, and commenting, I have really enjoyed this.
“Zoning In” is just a term I’ve used to describe what it feels like when you get stuck in an OCD spiral. You know how you can zone out when you’re watching a movie, reading a book, or doing something? That’s what it feels like during an OCD spiral – except for instead of drifting away in thought, you focus in on one thought in particular, and then continue obsessing on it.
When you zone in to an obsession or compulsion, it feels impossible to break free from it. It’s like watching something extremely captivating. You might not even be enjoying the obsession. Oftentimes it’s extremely unpleasant. (Like, who wants to be obsessing over their house burning down, or death, or being a bad person?) But the brain hones in on this particular thing and refuses to let go.
My favorite mental image for this is a hamster running around and around on its wheel. Sometimes it chills out and takes a break – these are the good days. Sometimes it runs a couple of times and then goes to get a drink of water. But sometimes – and these are the bad days – the hamster just sprints for hours on end. That’s what a bad OCD day feels like.
It’s easy to zone into these obsessions. That’s why it can be helpful to have somebody interrupt you. My fiancé has excellent insight into when I’m having a hard time with anxiety. Sometimes I can’t even tell, but he still can, and he will come over to me and give me a hug. Or hand me an alpaca. It’s helpful to have somebody interrupt from the outside because it often feels like I’m not capable of breaking free by myself.
So that’s what OCD feels like to me. And that concludes the past few months of OCD From A to Z!