Hi friends! This newsletter comes halfway through the month because I have been so busy…and it’s only going to get busier. How is it already halfway through August?
What’s Up In Life
The most exciting thing about this month is that I’m going to France with my husband! It’s our honeymoon, two years after our wedding. (Covid really threw a wrench into many people’s plans, ours included.) I’m writing a blog series called “Freaking Out About France,” and the first two posts are out. You can check them out here.
This is going to be the scariest thing I’ve ever done (maybe tied with OCD treatment). So I want to document the adventure.
You can expect a few more posts about the trip. I’m not sure what the Internet situation will be in France, but my blog is basically like my journal, so I’ll definitely still be blogging. A lot of it will be on Instagram, so if you don’t already follow me there, you may wish to: @claireoliviagolden.
I am so excited to go to France with my husband. He is my favorite travel companion because he is smart, calming, and has a good sense of humor – three traits you want in a travel buddy. I can also sleep on his shoulder, which is a bonus. He has already forfeited the window seat for all four legs of our trip. I LOVE watching the clouds go by.
I’m not going to say much about this for privacy, but if all goes according to plan, I’m going to meet an online friend in person for the first time! She is one of my closest friends, but we’ve never met in person. She lives in The Netherlands, which is a fairly short train ride from France. I’m so excited I can’t stand it.
What I’m Reading
My dad and I had an informal book club where we read the same book, Children of Time by Adrian Tchaikovsky, and discussed it. The book was a 600-page science fiction novel that involved intelligent spiders. The back cover blurb did not even MENTION spiders, but they are the main characters. It was a very strange read, but we ended up liking it, and I’ve gotten my hands on the sequel.
I’ve been enjoying some romantic comedy lately. I’m reading Emily Henry’s new book Happy Place and having a great time, even though it’s not actually super happy.
I will be bringing three books with me to France, as well as my trusty Kindle Paperwhite, whose name is Pluto. I think I’ve narrowed down the books I’m bringing:
- From Blood and Ash by Jennifer L Armentrout
- Red, White, and Royal Blue by Casey McQuiston
- Aurora by Kim Stanley Robinson
These are all fairly chonky books that should keep me occupied on the off-chance that my Kindle doesn’t work. I’m so scared of having no entertainment for the whole plane ride. It’s going to be about 11-12 hours on planes, with a 3-hour layover in Canada. Luckily, I’m pretty good at sleeping in cars and planes, so hopefully I can take a nice nap and wake up in France.
What I’m Writing
I’ve been working hard on this blog. It’s been therapeutic to work through some of my anxiety in writing and share it with you all. I used to be embarrassed about having anxiety, but now I know there’s no reason to be, and I’m not ashamed of it anymore. Anxiety is part of who I am, and there’s no reason I can’t talk about it if I want to. And the more I talk about it, the easier it gets.
What I’m Watching
Unfortunately, Netflix finally cut me off from my parents’ account. But my mom and I have been watching Heartstopper Season 2 when I come over to visit. It’s such a great show.
Health
After months of waiting, I got to see the Long Covid clinic. The doctor is so good that people come from all over my state to see him. (Not giving details here for privacy, but if you live in the PNW and need help with Long Covid, send me a message.)
He was amazing and spent an hour going over my chart before we even met. Unfortunately, he charges by the hour, but that’s what insurance is for. And it was worth every penny.
He thinks that I may have a hypermobility disorder like Ehlers-Danlos Syndrome that existed pre-Covid that made me more susceptible to Long Covid. I have suspected that I have EDS for several years now. I’m going in for more testing next month.
But in the meantime, I went to see my primary care doctor for an annual visit today. She and I have been talking about the possibility of EDS for a few years now. Today she said that she thinks I meet all the diagnostic criteria for EDS. She says it is very under-diagnosed, and that it would explain the myriad of symptoms I’ve had ever since I was a teenager.
This is HUGE news for me. There is a reason that I’ve been in debilitating pain off and on since I was 18. It explains my abdominal migraines, IBS, and joint/muscle pain.
IT EXPLAINS MY GASTROINTESTINAL SYMPTOMS.
Sometimes people are confused that I’m bummed out when tests come back negative. “But it’s good that you don’t have xxx,” they say. What they don’t understand is that I just want to understand what’s wrong with me. I don’t want to have a disease/disorder. I just want to put a name on my pain. I am tired of doctors not knowing what’s wrong with me and, more often than not, blaming it on anxiety or “being a woman.” My PCP says that “medical gaslighting” is super common, especially for mentally ill women.
I will be getting a second opinion next month, but this doctor thinks I have EDS, and it’s an AMAZING DAY I have been waiting for since 2016.
Learn more: https://www.ehlers-danlos.com/what-is-eds/
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Okay, this was a pretty big newsletter in terms of both word count and announcements. I’ll be back sometime soon with more about France. If you are the spiritual sort, I would really appreciate your thoughts, prayers, spells, or generally good vibes for being able to cope with my anxiety, OCD, and panic disorder during the trip. I appreciate you all.