Freaking Out About France #5
I’m a perfectionist and sometimes (often) I expect too much from myself. This Paris trip is no exception. When you’ve waited for something for so long – over a decade in this case – you want it to be perfect. But “perfect” is hard to define.
I had a lot of unrealistic expectations when I stopped to look at them:
- I want to see ALL THE THINGS
- I want to look impeccable/fashionable/perfect every single day
- I want to use French 100% of the time
- I don’t want to have to take ANY naps
- I don’t want to need my Bentyl for stomach cramps because it makes me sleepy
- I don’t want to have any panic attacks
Do you see how ridiculous that sounds? Writing it down helped me realize. I would have to be a completely different person both mentally and physically to accomplish even half of these goals.
What really matters on this trip? What do my values tell me?
Here’s what I came up with for some alternative thoughts around my unrealistic expectations:
- What would I say to someone else, like my husband, compared to myself?
- There are so many things to do in Paris that we will NEVER be able to do them all. Let’s pick a few priority things to do first.
- Seeing as many things as we can is not the only way to have a good vacation. It’s about quality over quantity.
- It’s okay to schedule relaxation time and downtime. It’s important to manage my spoons.
- I’m disabled and I’m still going to a foreign country. That’s amazing! I should be proud of what I achieve even if it looks different than I imagined.
- We can always come back someday! (I hope!)
With these thoughts in mind, here are my goals for the trip:
- Spend quality time with my husband and enjoy exploring with him
- Use my French whenever I can
- Eat yummy French food (and try at least one new dish)
- Get a book from a French bookstore
- Visit a few cool places (our top destinations are Joan of Arc’s birthplace in the east of France, Versailles, the Catacombs, Sacre-Cœur, and an overnight in the Netherlands)
I’m proud of how far I’ve come.