U is for Uncertainty
So much of life is uncertain, and it’s uncomfortable. Most people like to know things for sure. That’s why the future is scary, because you don’t know what’s going to happen. OCD centers around wanting to be certain about things.
Certain that you turned off the burner.
Certain that you really love somebody.
Certain that you aren’t a bad person.
Certain that you don’t have Ebola.
(Yes, these all come from personal experience, why do you ask?)
But like we talked about before, you can never really be certain about something. A big part of therapy for OCD is learning to tolerate uncertainty. My therapist said this phrase so many times that it started making me laugh to hear it, because so many things really do come back to this.
Yes, I probably turned off the burner, but it IS possible that I didn’t.
Love is impossible to measure in a tangible way, so you know what, it IS possible that my feelings aren’t real.
There’s no way to be sure that I’m NOT a bad person. It’s possible!
My headache is probably just from not drinking enough water, but sure, it COULD be Ebola.
You have to learn to sit with those uncomfortable feelings in order for them to ever go away. So while it’s SO tempting to reassure yourself, or ask other people for reassurance, that a certain thing is or isn’t true…it’s the worst thing you can actually do for yourself.
You can lean into the uncomfortable feeling and after a while, while you might not be happy about uncertainty, you’ll be able to deal with it. And that’s all we can really ask for.