P is for Perfectionism
Not all perfectionists have OCD. And not all people with OCD are perfectionists. However, there is a serious overlap from what I have observed. Maybe it’s just because I have always been a perfectionist, and pretty much everybody in my family is one too, so I don’t know a life without perfectionism. It’s good to want things to be perfect…right? Well, not really. As I’ve come to learn, there is no such thing as perfect (except literally every bird ever), so striving to achieve it will always result in disappointment.
I dare you to find me an imperfect bird. Go on. Try.
The obsession, then, can become “being perfect,” and the compulsion is “doing everything over and over again until it’s perfect.” Obviously, this obsession is going to take a lot of time, and it will become a neverending quest.
The way I deal with my perfectionism is by learning to be okay with good enough. Most days I don’t struggle with it like I used to. Sometimes I wouldn’t work on a novel because it wasn’t going to be perfect. Well, you know what? It is literally never going to be perfect. That’s just the cold, honest truth. So I may as well write a crappy novel, because it’s much better than no novel at all. And it usually turns out being better than I expected.
The only way you can even approach perfection is by allowing yourself to be awful at something. Only with that freedom will your creativity feel safe enough to give it a shot.
I mean, if somebody came up to you and said, “Paint a picture. It has to be perfect or it isn’t worth trying,” would you feel confident trying to paint a picture? You probably wouldn’t try at all. But if this person said, “Why don’t you try painting and see what happens,” you would feel safer to give it a go.
It’s okay to fail. It’s okay to produce mediocre things. It’s the act of creating something that matters. Unless you are producing the next rocket that will take a person to the moon, it’s okay to make mistakes. (And look at the Apollo mission that somehow turned out okay after all. Maybe mistakes are okay there, too.)