N is for Neurotic
My sister likes to point out that if you have neurons, which we all do, then you’re neurotic. So there you go.
Jokes aside, I know that I am fairly neurotic in some ways. It’s just the price of having OCD! I notice things that other people don’t notice, which sucks a lot of the time, but there are also perks to it. Don’t get me wrong, it’s downright obnoxious when people are like “It’s not a disability, it’s a different ability!!1!1!” OCD is classified as a disability in most lists. And it should be, because it can be disabling. So don’t be one of those people. Toxic positivity helps nobody. Mental illness is rough, and if I could cure it, I would. My OCD is not a blessing. However, I can also recognize the little superpowers it gives me.
Such as…I am great at copyediting. When I read things, my brain is automatically scanning for typos, grammatical errors, misplaced punctuation marks, and weird spaces. I am unable to turn that part of my brain off, which is pretty darn annoying, but it’s also quite useful. In fact, I am a typo-hunter for @tessonja and have proofread her last 4 releases. So that has been an awesome experience!
I am good at organizing books, which made me a good employee for the bookstore that I worked at. When things were slow, they let me weave my way around the bookstore, just straightening books. (Which is what I do anyway when I’m in a bookstore. It was just nice to get paid for it for a change.)
I have a supersense for when spiders are nearby. This is not always a good thing. But I can spot them from across the room, which leads people to ask, “How did you even see that?” How can I explain to them that my brain is always looking for them?
I can’t turn off my OCD. So it affects every single part of my life, and some of the ways in which it manifests look like good things. It’s nice to receive some benefit from my mental illness. However, I would trade in all of these skills in a heartbeat to get rid of my obsessive thoughts. It’s still a disability, and one I would rather not have. But I may as well enjoy the perks!